


Now or Never

by phonebookfable



Category: Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Alien Biology, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mutual Pining, Other, Sexual Content, Sexy Times, these dumb idiots just really love each other okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-06 08:55:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16385066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phonebookfable/pseuds/phonebookfable
Summary: Eddie feels guilty for his feelings and Venom reassures him it's mutual.It's angsty and fluffy and full of all that monsterfucker guilt so many of us secretly have....“But you don’t want me.” Eddie stated it plainly, forgetting not to lean into the tendril’s soft touch.“Of course we want you, Eddie. We want what you want.”“Oh god, please stop saying that, Venom. Please.” Eddie whispered gruffly, shivering. “I know it’s just me and my bullshit feelings controlling you.”Finally, it all clicked."Eddie. You are so stupid."...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't posted fanfiction since 2013 but that doesn't mean I stopped writing it. These two disasters and their adorable sexy nonsense brought me back. 
> 
> Let me know in the comments if you want a chapter two because I could definitely whip out some more smut or fluff! These losers are top notch inspo.
> 
> Title from Halsey's music which is for some reason an ongoing joke in this fic.

 

 

 

 

**_Eddie. Eddie, tell us what is wrong._ **

 

The symbiote’s thick voice had plagued Eddie all day. They wouldn’t let up.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it, lov- Venom.” Eddie whispered, swallowing the endearment. He reached up into the fridge and grabbed a carton from the top shelf. Chocolate milk. As if _that_ would satisfy his guilt. Venom’s instant recognition of chocolate, the way his excitement swirled in their chest, made Eddie feel like a creep in a van luring innocents over to him with candy. But it was too late to put it back now.

 

**_For us, Eddie?_** Venom rumbled inside his head, though it felt like his voice was echoing up through their chest.

 

Eddie wished it didn’t make him happy when Venom said his name like that. “Yeah, but just as a trade-off. I’m making veggie stir-fry for dinner.”

 

**_No. Eddie, why? Why do you do this to yourself, to us, Eddie?_ **

 

“The alternative is getting scurvy and all my teeth will fall out. Plus, gotta stay in shape.” Eddie mumbled into his shoulder as he snagged the biggest zucchini from the yellow crate beside the old and mostly dead flowers. Part of him wondered why he even bothered hiding their conversation- Mrs Chen had already seen them. He shivered at the thought, and tried his hardest to push it away. It felt so good to be one with the symbiote, as Venom, sinfully so.

 

**_Eddie, we are in perfect shape, perfect together. Eating some heads would make us stronger, though._ **

 

Eddie scooped up a few more vegetables and a packet of spaghetti before placing it all on the counter with a smile he knew Mrs Chen would see straight through. He ignored Venom and his increased heartrate, and quickly started humming to the Halsey song playing over the shop radio. He didn’t know why he knew the song, he was more of a rock music kind of guy. It was probably because Venom’s obsession with sounds that _didn’t_ kill them had Eddie putting on a random radio station every time he sat down to grind out an article or do some research. He liked making his symbiote happy.

 

**_We like making you happy, too, Eddie. Why won’t you let us make you happy?_ **

 

“Keep the change! Night, Mrs Chen!” Eddie threw some notes on the counter and dashed out the door with his groceries, breathing heavily. Mrs Chen called after him but he couldn’t hear it over the sound of blood rushing in their ears. He knew that he couldn’t run away from this, but that wasn’t gonna stop him from trying.

 

Venom bristled under his skin but didn’t tease Eddie like they usually did. The usual banter between them was blocked by Eddie’s incessant anxiety and self-hatred. Venom couldn’t tell what it was, just knew that it tasted wrong.

 

Eddie mounted his bike and popped the shopping into a backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. His new apartment, courtesy of the money from his settlement with the Life Foundation, was a fifteen-minute ride from Mrs Chen’s shop. Ever the sentimentalist, Eddie hadn’t swapped her out for the fancy deli half a block from his new place. The cold air, even with his jacket and helmet on, soothed Eddie as he darted between traffic and up hills. He liked the lights of the city at night, and the openness of the air. This part of town was far quieter at night. The bike felt good beneath him and between his thighs. Too good. The vibrations were going straight to his- Eddie cut the thought off and drove a little faster, a little more reckless.

 

**_Eddie. You are still upset._ **

 

Venom’s voice was whiny, sad, which should have been impossible for a terrifying alien monster. There was a lot about them that should have been impossible, Eddie thought, as much to himself as he could. If Venom heard it, they didn’t comment.

 

“It’s fine, really.” Eddie’s voice was muffled by the engine. “Just tired.”

 

**_We can drive for us, Eddie._ **

 

As they spoke, the familiar and intoxicating feeling of Venom seeping out of him tingled all over Eddie’s arms. Tendrils curled out and over the leather of his jacket and wound themselves over his fingers. _Like we’re holding hands,_ Eddie’s thought slipped through before he could stop it. His own disgust mingled with Venom’s purr of appreciation.

 

“You always break the speed limit, and I don’t feel like dealing with the cops tonight. Lemme drive.” Eddie knew his voice was a bit broken, and even if the helmet distorted it Venom would still feel it in their throat. Ignoring him, squirmy black bits of alien squeezed the throttle and Eddie felt his hold on the bike slip away.

 

**_Don’t be a pussy, Eddie. You like it when we drive._ **

 

And he did. He really did. But that was part of the problem. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and everything felt too close and too much.

 

**_Are you really going to be such a bitch about this? We didn’t even complain_ that _much about the disgusting vegetables._** Venom said in his ear, but there was a tinge to it that Eddie was sure he was imaging. As if reacting to his denial, silky and too-warm tentacles sprouted from Eddie’s side under his clothes and wrapped around him. A hug?

 

“Just shut up and drive, _parasite_.” Eddie hissed at them through gritted teeth and blinked away the tears. Venom didn’t explode into his usual torrent of complaints, demanding that Eddie apologise, but the tentacles- arms? - around his waist trembled but didn’t melt back into him. Eddie felt his confusing rush of anger and sadness welling up painfully in his chest, tightening, and convinced himself this was just a safety thing. But not because Venom cared about him, no, that was self-centred bullshit. They needed a host, and fixing Eddie every time he broke used up too much energy. Something like that, anyway.

 

After a long and painful silence, Venom pulled them into the garage of the building and quickly disappeared into Eddie’s skin. They retreated far back into Eddie’s mind, rather than the usual spot behind his heart. Eddie punched the code into the gate and all but sprinted up the fourteen flights of stairs up to his floor.

 

On auto-pilot, Eddie pulled the dark grey curtains and blocked out the beautiful view of the harbour. He unloaded everything from the backpack, leaving the milk out for Venom. Giving his hands and the vegetables a quick wash, Eddie started making dinner.

 

It went well. He had bought the right brand of sauce, for once. Anne had always been the cook, not Eddie, and when he had tried she’d asked him never to try again. Eddie finally felt a smile on his lips and he stirred the broth in the pan. The pain from his breakup was gone, and only fondness tinged the edges of the memory. Good ol’ Anne. She was a great friend. Just a friend. With a sigh, loneliness twisted his mouth back to a sour pout.

 

Eddie grabbed the last clean bowl, ignoring the vague shame he felt at his mountain of dirty dishes, and spooned the pasta into it. He noticed Venom still hadn’t touched the chocolate milk. They usually helped themselves. They’d been quiet since Eddie yelled at them on the way home. An extra dollop of guilt squeezed Eddie’s heart. His misdirected anger was a fuck up, but it was better than being honest. Better than letting himself get more attached, than taking advantage.

 

“Hey, Venom? You there?” Eddie called out to the empty apartment, whilst mentally feeling around for something, for someone. After a short while, they finally spoke.

 

**_Eat the mush. It’s getting cold._ **

 

Eddie couldn’t stop his relieved smile. “I thought you didn’t want me to eat it, so why does it matter what temp-“

 

Venom cut him off, his usually grating voice toneless, ** _Because you care, Eddie. You like hot food._**

 

The symbiote’s words, as plain as they were, absolutely crushed him. God, Eddie was all over the place. Stifling a sob, he stared at the bowl, feeling more empty than his stomach. Overwhelmed and exhausted, he finally closed his eyes and slumped over the counter, pushing the food away. “You shouldn’t have to feel something just because I do. You don’t have to do something just because I want it.”

 

**_This is about what happened on the roof, isn’t it, Eddie?_ **

 

The memory floated into his mind.

 

_Last week, on the highest and quietest building right in the middle of San Fran. Venom had enveloped Eddie with the intention of getting some baddies and forcing their host into getting over his annoying fear of heights, but they didn’t catch anyone. Eddie had been a mess of fear and excitement inside of Venom as they argued and looked over the edge of the roof._

 

_It had been beautiful, romantic even. Venom was whispering comfort to Eddie, promising him all the nicest things if he would just open his eyes and look down._

 

_“I know I’m safe here with you, but that isn’t going to make the fear go away!”_

 

**_We know what Eddie wants, what will make you feel better. Will that stop you from being such a pussy?_ **

 

_A pause._ Eddie then and Eddie now, their hearts skipped a beat.

 

_“Yes. Oh, god, yes, love. Please.”_

 

**_Anything for you, Eddie. We want what you want._ **

 

Before he could see any more, Eddie slammed his head against the marble hard enough to make himself bleed. Venom was quick to fix him before the pain really took hold, but quickly sprouted from his shoulder and formed that inky toothy face to roar at Eddie.

 

**“Why do you do this, Eddie?”** Venom took over their body, forcing Eddie to look into their pearly white eyes. **“Do you not want us anymore?”**

 

Groaning, Eddie tried to look away. “No, of course not. I don’t want you to leave. But what we did - what I made you do - it was wrong. It was _disgusting_.”

 

An overwhelming sadness drowned the guilt Eddie felt, but it wasn’t his own. A single tendril slid up from his shoulder and traced his lips. Eddie fought against Venom’s hold, trying to get away from the touch.

 

**“We thought you wanted it. We’ve seen your memories, the ones with Anne and the ones before her, the man in New York, the many people in the dorm. They made you feel good, Eddie.”** Venom pressed their forehead against Eddie’s, eyes just small slits. Their voice sounded strangled, even more rough than it usually was. Even more _alien_. The tendril stroked his cheek as Venom continued, **“We wanted you to feel happy, too, Eddie. But we disgust you?”**

 

Eddie didn’t realise he was crying until he opened his mouth to speak and tasted salt. “Not you, Venom, it’s me. Myself.”

 

Eddie felt Venom’s confusion mingle with the sadness, and hoped the guilt he felt wasn’t suffocating his symbiote in the same way. Gently, Venom released his control over Eddie’s body but grew their hulking form down from their neck, clawed hands always touching Eddie’s skin as they turned him around and pushed his back against the bench. They were as separate from Eddie as they could be, touch the only connection between host and symbiote. Their emotional bond was still raging in Eddie’s head. Eddie leaned away from Venom but was only pulled closer to their shiny black body as a hand - talon? - cupped his face. The usual toothy grin was a grimace so similar only Eddie would be able to identify it. It seemed strange that Eddie was the one taking advantage of Venom, that Eddie was the monster, but that was how he felt.

 

Venom heard the thought. **“What? Taking advantage of us?”**

 

“Ye-Yeah,” Eddie stuttered, or sobbed, he wasn’t really sure anymore. “Yeah, my stupid fucked up desires, or whatever, I made you do those _things_ to me. You probably didn’t even know what you were doing. What it meant.” He choked on a breath, unable to get oxygen fast enough. “I’m disgusting, and I’m ruining our bond. I’m a shit host.”

 

**_“_ No, Eddie. No, our darling Eddie. Would a shit host fight for us, or let us eat baddies and listen to the pop music, or buy us this?” **Venom’s voice was the softest it had ever been, their words practically caressing Eddie, while their tendril gently turned his head to look at the chocolate milk. Its brown and blue carton seemed to shine under the kitchen bulbs. Venom turned Eddie back to face them, their huge tongue lolling out of their sharp mouth. It slithered out to wipe away Eddie’s tears, ironically just making his face wetter. “ **You look after us so well, Eddie. We were made for each other. _We_ are Venom.”**

 

“But you don’t want me.” Eddie stated it plainly, forgetting not to lean into the tendril’s soft touch.

 

“ **Of course we want you, Eddie. We want what you want.”** Venom soon discovered this was the opposite of what Eddie wanted to hear. He was crying harder now, embarrassment colouring his cheeks.

 

“Oh god, please stop saying that, Venom. Please.” Eddie whispered gruffly, shivering. “I know it’s just me and my bullshit feelings controlling you.”

 

Finally, it all clicked. Venom looked down at the human in his hands, so small and sad, collapsing in on himself. They wound their arms around Eddie, pulling him to their chest and nuzzling his face, licking his lips. Eddie was overwrought and barely seemed to notice. They spoke directly into his mind now, and pushed their feelings at him through the bond.

 

**_Eddie. You are so stupid._ **

 

Eddie couldn’t compete with the strength of Venom’s tongue and had to open his mouth, had to let it in past his lips. He hated himself for the moan he made, for the way his body was instantly hotter, instantly thrumming with want, with need.

 

**_We don’t want to kiss you, to hold you, to_ fuck _you, just because you want it too. We want you for the same reason we could not let Riot destroy this planet. It was the reason, Eddie._**

 

_Don’t say it, please don’t say it!_ Eddie pleaded in his head as Venom’s clawed hands sliced through his clothes for the second time, cold air only touching his bare skin for a moment before tentacles embraced almost every inch of him, stroking and petting. Cuddling. Holding. Wanting. And oh, god, Eddie wanted them too. He needed this. Needed them.

 

**_We love you, Eddie. We love you when you are sleeping, and your face is so handsome and serene._** Venom stopped kissing Eddie for a moment to hold his face and stare into his dazed eyes. Venom pushed their love through the bond, and felt a confused warmth in return. “ **We love you like this, when you want us. When you’re sleeping we think about fucking you, Eddie, we think about fucking you in the middle of the city and on your little television show so everyone knows that you are mine.”**

 

Venom’s deep and cocky rumble was turning Eddie on, but the touch of inky black appendages was everywhere except where he wanted it most. He whimpered, “Venom, just tell me.”

 

They grinned. They could feel Eddie’s guilt slowly melting to arousal. But, they needed it gone permanently. Venom needed Eddie to be all theirs, and happy, always. “ **We like when you call our name from your pretty mouth, Eddie. But, you are wrong. We have desires of our own. Some of those dreams you hate yourself for having, Eddie, we put them there. And Eddie, my Eddie, don’t forget.”**

 

Venom’s breath was hot across his face, and Eddie was trembling, and smiling. He was fucking beaming. “Don’t forget what, love?”

 

“ ** _We_ kissed _you_ first, Eddie.**” And, to emphasise the point, Venom kissed him again. It was deep and possessive, Venom’s tongue almost fucking Eddie’s mouth and throat, his gag reflex suppressed. A handy and soon to be very helpful side effect of having a symbiote lover. Eddie’s moans were better than any of Halsey’s music, and Venom’s alien guttural growling was making their host hotter. Venom basked in their mixed desires.

 

**_We want to fuck you, darling. Do you want us to fuck you, Eddie? Want us to make you ours all over again? Make you mine?_ **

 

“Oh, Venom.” Eddie groaned. “Yes, yes please.”


	2. Never Say Can't!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've updated this as a separate work, find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16426094

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16426094

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't done this in so long so please let me know what you think! It is very much appreciated!


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